If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
