hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
