god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
