i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
