your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He shit in the fireplace
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
