One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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