She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We left the knife in your bed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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