I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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