marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
