i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
