how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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