I think my fart just growled at me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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