Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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