seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
cat food counts as protein by the way
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
