you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
