well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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