Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
