You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
