Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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