This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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