After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
