just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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