he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
