my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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