dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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