Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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