Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
