Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
