All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
