This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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