Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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