i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize