So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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