There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Randomize
