the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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