Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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