Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
