Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
