PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
