Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
