i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
