i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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