OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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