Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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