Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
