Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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