ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
