That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
