i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
