were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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