are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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