I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize