I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
