I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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