i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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