so explain again why im purple
no
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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