Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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