from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
