Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
