Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Found the puke drawer
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
