so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
